Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
It's no shave November. This is our time.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
