Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
