I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
