My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
