Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
