would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
