YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
