): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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