My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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