You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
