The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
