if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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