Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
He has the fingertips of a God
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