i may or may not be watching the land before time
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
