Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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