it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
