just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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