Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
