Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
