I'm drive I can fine osifer
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
