remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
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