is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Your cock deserves a montage
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
