Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i used baking grease as lip gloss
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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