Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
