You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
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