Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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