mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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