I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
