if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
