I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
you didnt know i had herpes?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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