Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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