Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
