you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Randomize
