Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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