so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
