I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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