remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
At least life still wants to fuck me.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
