Non-Jews are for practice
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
