his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
