Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
