I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
