clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Randomize
