JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
