you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. �Hello 29...
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
