it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Never joke about your clitoris.
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