I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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