I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
