you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
She's like a pop up book from hell.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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