I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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