Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Say something about gay babies.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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