im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
it's like heaven, but drunker
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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