So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
